Adoption Celebration

November is National Adoption Month. Last night Grace United Methodist church was holding an Adoption Celebration along with One Heart Ministries. We were invited to go by my parent's friends who are also in the process of adoption. We went to dinner first and then to the celebration. (Don't we always go out to dinner first?!?!? ;) For the record, we ate at Mi Ranchito off Olive Blvd.  ) I don't think Carlie and I knew exactly what to expect. I think we both have a desire to meet and socialize with people going through the same process as we are and this was really a great opportunity for us to experience this. 


The evening was enjoyable, but not what I had expected. It was a worship service to celebrate the process of adopting children...loving a child in need of a forever family. There was a couple that spoke about their international adoption, a single woman who spoke about her adoption through the foster care system, and a mother of a teenager who, along with her husband, were just starting their adoption process and were planning to go through the foster care system also. I really enjoyed listening to their stories and wished they had had more time to speak and that there had been more speakers to listen too. We noticed immediately that most of the people there were adopting through the state of Missouri, which is a very different process than what we are embarking on. We spoke quietly to each other about this before the service even began but we made a concerted effort to keep an open mind.  Although I DID notice this difference throughout the service, I also noticed one similarity...as I listened to the speakers and watched the families around me it was obvious that we may be adopting in a different way but we were adopting for the same reason that everyone else there had. They wanted to love a child and have a family. And so do we.


Last week Carlie and I were visiting my Aunt Patty. We were talking with her about the blog and about what we've been going through lately with all of the adoption stuff and she said something that has stuck with Carlie and me. (She doesn't even know this unless she's reading this right now!) We were telling her about the paperwork, phone calls, home visits, and decision making and she said "This is your labor. What you are going through right now is your labor." She was saying that we may not have monthly doctor visits or 15 hours of contractions but all of this "stuff" is our labor for our baby. We liked that and think it is a TERRIFIC way to look at this journey.  I feel like this Adoption Celebration, and other events we may attend like it, are an important part to our "adoption labor". I hope that we can find some that focus on private adoptions or at least present us with the opportunity to hear some stories of families that adopted privately, without the assistance from the state. 

Home Visit

We had our home visit today.  It was much more low-key than I had anticipated! Dr. Heller arrived around 8:15 a.m. and took a tour of our house. Carlie and I are well aware that a house with more than one lofted master bedroom would be better for a baby (hence, why we are trying to sell it!) and I think we were both a little nervous that she might feel the same way. But we were wrong! Dr. Heller really seemed to like our place. She went on and on about how clean it was (Really? Do people let her visit when their homes are anything BUT clean!?!?!), called it “homey”, and loved our four big windows in our bedroom.  At one point, Carlie asked her how we would handle the home study document if we did sell our place and buy a new home before the adoption was complete. In the midst of answering his question, she mentioned that if we lived in a big city, we would probably be living in an apartment and our place is just like that. I had never thought of it that way…and it made me feel a little better!

 Can I just brag on my dog for minute? She did SOOO good! Dr. Heller not only arrived in all black (hello! I have a GOLDEN RETRIEVER! She is a hair shedding machine!) but also told us she is allergic to dogs. My first thought was “oh, no!”.  But she wanted to pet Macy and say Hello to her. After she did I told Macy to go upstairs and get in her bed…and she did without hesitation! She stayed in her bed or at the top of the stairs the entire time Dr. Heller was here. Of course, at one point she peeked at us over the loft…but that was just cute!  She thumped her tail most of the time on the floor, which Dr. Heller found endearing, but other than that it would have been easy to forget she was even here. Dr. Heller commented on her sweet nature, how cute she is, and how she knows she will be so good with a baby. I couldn’t agree more! I told Dr. Heller that I secretly hoped that one day Macy would be the kind of dog that sleeps under out baby’s crib at night, protecting him.

After the tour, the three of us sat down at the table to go over the paperwork. She looked through it all quickly, only glancing at most pages, sometimes reading some. It was all so informal. She told us that they would begin compiling the information on Monday of next week and would call us if they had any questions.   We sat and talked for about thirty minutes. Carlie and I had some questions to ask her in regards to our application for the adoption agency, but we also just talked with her about the books I’ve been reading and other adoption related “stuff”. She told us that just last week she was presented with a Caucasian birth mother and (this is in her words) “if I hadn’t found out she was on meth, I would have called you guys.” What?!?! How crazy is that? I mean, I realize we don’t want a baby born addicted to meth, and thank goodness for Dr. Heller and her discernment…but…she could have called us last week?!?!? Wow. It was kind of glimpse into just how quickly this could happen for us. She started telling us about cute boutique type baby stores around town that we should go to. I kind of told her that we didn’t want to jump in too quickly, that being in stores like that might make us (me) a little TOO excited, when I feel like we need to be cautiously optimistic at this point. But, Dr. Heller said “Well, you are going to adopt a baby. That is going to happen eventually.” Wow! That was so encouraging! And she’s right. We don’t know when but do know that it WILL happen.

So, the home visit is complete. There is nothing more we can do except mail off the application and completed home study document when Dr. Heller completes and notarizes it. She thinks she will be done right before or right after Thanksgiving. Carlie and I are planning to mail off the application as soon as we get the home study and then plan to drive to Iowa to meet with the adoption agent that we have been working with. We are one step away from just sitting back and waiting for the phone call. I can’t imagine what that will feel like to hear the phone ring and get “the call”….