After a voicemail message and a few texts, I just had my first one-to-one conversation with our birthmother. I was a bit nervous at first, but as the call went on I calmed down. A LOT of what I said was "That must be hard." She has SO much going on in her life right now....newly divorced, impounded car, late traffic tickets with an impending court date, kicked our of her mother's house....just to name a few.
My care-taker personality takes over and it was very hard for me not to jump in with "let us fix that for you!" or "let us help with that". Defining my own personal boundaries with this situation but also maintaining a familiar comfort with her is very important but also very difficult! Brenda, our adoption agent, has been so wonderful and helpful to me through all of this. Right now, she tells me, it is important for our birth mom to feel like we not only care for her baby but care for her. So that's what I'm trying to do.
I ended the call by tell her to keep me posted on her job interview on Friday and house hunt today. We talked about how often we might "chat" and she told me that she was available "whenever". :) I just pray for my words to be genuine and caring and that I can forge into this relationship with good personal boundaries. Let the journey begin!
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