9.26.11

The due date is tomorrow and the waiting is definitely taking a toll on us. Neither of us has ever felt this kind of anxiety and stress before. We go to sleep with it and wake up with it in the morning. We talk about it over dinner and email about it to each other throughout the day. We try to think about other things and talk about other things...but really. Who are we kidding? There is NOTHING else going on for us right now. I refuse to say this to myself and we never say it to each other...but in this blog I will admit that we want to meet this baby so badly. We want to hold him and see what he looks like. But right now, even as close as the calendar tells us we are, that moment feels so far away.
Status update: We know nothing. :) We know the hospital that we THINK she's going to deliver at. We know that two days ago she was still pregnant. We know that she SAYS she wants to continue with this adoption plan. But that's it. And that's not a lot. I told Carlie yesterday that I think God needs to revamp this whole system that He has going on. It would be a whole lot easier to be faithful if He could just let us know the date and time the baby was coming, then we could relax, be faithful, and breathe a little. Just a little message sent down from above: "Baby boy will be here on September 26, 2011 around 10:30 p.m. You will get the call around 7:00 p.m. that same night."  .... "Ok God. Thanks for letting us know."  I mean, is that so hard??? If only....
So we wait. I know, I know, we've been waiting for almost two years now. But THIS waiting doesn't compare to any other waiting I've ever experienced.
I may not be getting a direct-line message from above, but I sure can send one.... "Lord, I will be faithful. Although at times it is physically painful...my skin feels to tight and my stomach is tied in knots, I will be faithful. But please hear the cry of our hearts."